When I check Out
I wonder if it will be suicide. The idea sounds some what glamorous to me. The height of drama. A Note? Honestly, don't be absurd, nothing I do in life is orthodox, and nothing I do when the curtain closes will be either. Now, I belive its important to here to mention one thing, I break down, I cry, its all exstremly sad. However there can be a very real art to the way the act is committed.
I've lost to many friends to suicide already in my life. I felt cheated, mad, and angry, that they had left in such it the maner that they choose. If only they had just asked. The morning seems some what deeper, richer, and more silent reverence given to the person subcome to suicide.
So how would I go, well, alow me to gather my thoughts, I'll tell you.
Paul Lennox
How will I exit? First off let me tell you I have no intention of letting the curtain close just yet, the shows just beginning. However, I will say that from time to time I do think about what the experience would be like, but only occasional; I do find the subject fascinating.I guess that I was thinking of this because I was reminiscing about a party I want to some years ago.It was at a penthouse apartment in New York City. Beautiful furniture, but I don't feel like discussing that now. I was there with my best friend at the time Ben Tull, whom I do miss very much. There we struck up a conversation with some sort of famous mathematician. I couldn't tell you his name, as I couldn't give to figs about mathematician (especially pompous ones) so I have long since forgotten his name.
However, I do remember that he was an atheist, which was fine by me. Tull, whom I always called by hi sir name, was overly disturbed by this. I hadn't known that he was secretly so religious. Once again that was fine with me. The more we talked the more Tull became uneasy. After the mathematicians final argument Tull ran to the facility to allow him self space to be sick. Supposedly he had created an equation, (very quantum non of which made sense to me) combination time on some sort of latice grid, and energy to show that life or energy or coinscieness, can not exist perpetually. He said "after life ends there is nothing".
Tull got sick, I felt a strange sense of peace, the cycles would stop and there would be silence, peace. But, how will I leave, bare with me. The best part of the show is the finally.
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